Rules for Teens - Building Real Relationships in a Digital Age

🎧 Become a “Hybrid Hero"
https://www.patreon.com/hybridministry

📲 Phone Free Activity Guides
https://www.patreon.com/hybridministry/shop/phone-free-event-guide-850030?source=storefront

DESCRIPTION
Social media has transformed how we connect, fueled by the rise of smartphones and evolving platforms. In this episode, we define social media’s roots, from its early pioneers like MySpace and Facebook to today’s dynamic apps like TikTok, and explore how to use technology as a tool to foster authentic relationships. Plus, we share practical tips for building deeper connections and introduce a Phone-Free Family Planning Guide to help balance digital and real-world interactions.

📓 SHOWNOTES
http://www.hybridministry.xyz/135

//DETOX WORKSHEET
https://www.patreon.com/hybridministry/shop/digital-detox-family-worksheet-763860?source=storefront

//AUDIT WORKSHEET
https://www.patreon.com/hybridministry/shop/social-feed-audit-activity-for-parents-789323?source=storefront

//PARENT TECH TALKS
https://www.patreon.com/hybridministry/shop/parent-tech-talks-817359?source=storefront

//📲 PHONE FREE ACTIVITY GUIDE
https://www.patreon.com/hybridministry/shop/phone-free-event-guide-850030?source=storefront

//ARTICLE
https://www.broadbandsearch.net/blog/complete-history-social-media

👉 STAY CONNECTED WITH NICK
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@clasonnick
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hybridministry/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@clasonnick
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HybridMinistry
Website: https://www.hybridministry.xyz

--------------
🎉 FREE STUFF 🎉
We have all kinds of FREE Things that you can use in your context!
The best way to pay us back is a review or a YouTube Subscribe!
https://www.linktr.ee/clasonnick

--------------
🛠️TOOLS I USE THAT CAN HELP YOU!
Some of the below links are affiliate links in which we do recieve a small commission based on your purchase or use of products
VIDIQ
https://vidiq.com/hybrid

BEST DYM RESOURCES
https://www.hybridministry.xyz/articles/dym

OPUS.PRO FOR AI SHORTS & REELS
https://www.opus.pro/?via=a5d361

//YOUTUBE STARTER KIT FOR UNDER $100
https://www.hybridministry.xyz/articles/youtubestarterkit

//SIDEKICK SETUP GUIDE
https://www.hybridministry.xyz/articles/setup

⌚TIMECODES
00:00 Do Phones Ruin Friendships?
01:47 What is Social Media?
08:10 Idea #1
11:40 Idea #2
13:34 Idea #3

--------------
TRANSCRIPT
00:00:00:00 - 00:00:01:00
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
Social

00:00:01:00 - 00:00:06:20
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
media usage has been growing. In fact, it's been growing since the beginning

00:00:06:20 - 00:00:19:03
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
of time. I would probably attribute the majority of social media growth to the invention of, and the rising prevalence of access to smartphones.

00:00:19:03 - 00:00:19:13
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
If

00:00:19:13 - 00:00:32:16
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
you're watching this video here, go ahead and give me a like. If you remember the invention of the smartphone. And if you don't, then you owe me a subscribe because you're probably a teenager who has only ever had access to a smartphone.

00:00:32:18 - 00:00:56:21
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
That juxtaposition right there is the inherent tension that exists between teenagers and parents who are navigating a brand new landscape. And so in this video, what I want to do, titled Building Real Relationships in the Digital Age, we're going to define what social media, even is. Everyone kind of carries in their own built in and baked in connotations of

00:00:56:21 - 00:00:58:09
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
but what is it really?

00:00:58:10 - 00:01:18:23
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
I'm also going to share with you some real tips to building relationships in the digital age. And spoiler, some of those tips are actually going to be leaning into tech as a tool to enhance and build some of those relationships, and make sure that you stick around to the very end of the video, because I have for you a phone free activity guide.

00:01:18:23 - 00:01:38:19
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
And what this is going to do is not only give you ideas of, you know, phone free activities that you can do, but it's going to help you navigate some of those conversations, especially with getting some of your friends maybe on board, to do an event that is more phone free, even though they may be a little bit more drawn to an addicted to their phones.

00:01:38:19 - 00:02:02:23
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
And it's also going to help give you a framework as a family, how to also implement some of those events. Welcome, my friends, to the Hybrid Minister show. Hey everybody, welcome to the Hybrid Ministry Show. If you and I haven't had a chance to meet yet. My name is Nick Clayson. I've been a youth pastor and in youth ministry for 14, going on 14.5, soon to be 15 years.

00:02:02:23 - 00:02:05:04
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
And if you're watching here on YouTube, you'll see a chart

00:02:05:04 - 00:02:27:01
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
that defines social media usage from the beginning of 2012 all the way through when this data was captured in 2023. And I just want to let you know that if you're not watching on YouTube or if you're in the podcast, catch wherever you're listening. There are chapters included so that you can kind of hopper and skip around to the parts of this video that kind of make the most sense to you.

00:02:27:01 - 00:02:50:08
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
But as we're looking at this chart, whether you're watching on YouTube or you just listening to me, describe it via your audio podcast feed, you see that in January of 2012, there were just over, 1400 users of different social accounts. Fast forward to January of 2023, and as you can imagine, that number has ballooned up to 4760.

00:02:50:08 - 00:02:57:03
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
And it's probably a surely greater than 5000 now at this point, as we have surpassed into 2025

00:02:57:03 - 00:02:57:16
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
and

00:02:57:16 - 00:03:21:15
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
beyond. Well, what exactly is. I think this is important. Right. And so like if you're a chapter person, you move skip this one like the definition of social media. But I think it's important for us to take a quick step back, peel back the curtain a little bit, and really try and understand what social media not only is, but where it's coming from.

00:03:21:17 - 00:03:40:04
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
And it's inherent like reason for even existing in the first place. And so I tried my best. I looked across some websites, I use some I, but at the end of the day, the definition that I sort of came to and use some different like articles for their link down below if you want to read them, is that social media is

00:03:40:04 - 00:03:53:08
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
online communication designed to create networks and communities where ideas, information, messages, photos, etc. can be freely shared.

00:03:53:08 - 00:04:17:19
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
And if you think about what's baked into that definition, is the desire for a lot of different things communication, messages, photos, ideas, right? Like it is evolved to a spot where it's more than just a photo sharing avenue or a video sharing avenue. You can communicate ideas. You can communicate information, you can create networks, you can find people.

00:04:18:00 - 00:04:46:10
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
But at the base of it all is social is what it's social, right? At least in its original iteration. And it's original. Inception. The idea and the purpose behind social media was creating community and networks and connections where you could keep up with people you know. Many of us would trace socials roots back to the invention of Facebook and what Zuckerberg did on Harvard's campus.

00:04:46:10 - 00:05:17:01
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
But believe it or not, social existed even before that. And I would say you could kind of trace some of its ideas back to the 90s when blogs were invented, you know, blogs kind of planted this idea in the world's heads that people, individual people, people outside of the traditional news media outlets and news sources that they could post whatever and whenever they wanted and receive feedback in live time without having to go through that pesky use.

00:05:17:01 - 00:05:39:09
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
Like I said of like that third party. And so if you're watching here on YouTube, if you're not linked down below in the show notes hybrid ministry.xyz/135. I use this article from Broadband and Search. It's an article. What it did is it traced some of the very original social networks. So in 1997, some of you might not even know this if you don't give me a like.

00:05:39:09 - 00:06:07:08
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
But six degrees was was what this, this article brought in search what they define as the very first social platform. And then following that in 2002, Friendster and Myspace and LinkedIn all were invented, and Twitter was in 2006. And then Facebook finally came and burst on the scene in, I believe this 2000 and, four, when we officially got the launch of Facebook.

00:06:07:08 - 00:06:33:03
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
And as you know, it originally launched only as an exclusive opportunity on the Harvard campus, but it soon expanded beyond that. And by 2008, Facebook overtook Myspace as the most visited website in the world. 2010 is when Instagram launched, and that's actually when I dived in, dove in, to being a youth pastor. And so, I always say, I was an Instagram baby as a youth pastor.

00:06:33:03 - 00:07:01:17
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
And so, I've been around as a youth pastor as long as Instagram has been around, and Instagram launched originally as sort of just a photo sharing app, is meant to be a little bit more artsy than that. Maybe what was going on over in Facebook. And then 2011, Snapchat came. And Snapchat has ushered in a lot of different features that different platforms, especially with the idea of like stories have kind of adopted and made a very like big staple on their platform especially I'm looking at you Instagram and Facebook.

00:07:01:17 - 00:07:13:12
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
And then in 2016, TikTok was invented. And in 2020, a few years after the invention of TikTok, it took the world by storm and frankly, ushered in a new social era.

00:07:13:12 - 00:07:24:11
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
You know, give me a like if you know that as you've watched videos on TikTok recently, do you even recognize or know the people that have posted the videos that you're watching?

00:07:24:13 - 00:07:38:11
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
That's the new era, right? Social, in its original iteration, was meant to be about connections and networks, but now it's much more about maybe entertainment, sharing ideas, or even just like humor, right? And

00:07:38:11 - 00:07:38:21
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
laughing

00:07:38:21 - 00:07:39:07
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
and sharing

00:07:39:07 - 00:07:52:07
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
things that cause people to laugh. And like I said, you can draw a thread all the way back, especially to the origin of some of these, to the idea behind friendship and community.

00:07:52:09 - 00:08:11:01
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
And speaking of tracing a thread all the way back again, if you're watching here on YouTube, you've seen other chart from that broadband and search article, and it just, lays out the history of social, social platforms and social networks. Go ahead and take a screenshot of that and you can study that later on in your time. But what I want to move on to is I want to

00:08:11:01 - 00:08:19:01
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
kind of ask this question, how can we build relationships in a digitally based world?

00:08:19:01 - 00:08:36:21
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
You know, there's, a video that I came across, during kind of like Christmas break, New Year's time, and it shows and I'll, I'll link it here on screen. You can go ahead and take a look at it, but it shows how humans have spent their time over the course of history. And like the 40s and 50s, is primarily family.

00:08:36:21 - 00:09:01:04
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
And then quickly friends took over that top spot on the kind of bar graph. But then as soon as the internet was existed, boom, it skyrocketed to the top. And what we know is that while in its original form, social was created for human ideas and connection, it has sort of supplanted what it was originally brought into. Meaningful right?

00:09:01:04 - 00:09:03:23
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
It was meant for us to connect better. But while

00:09:03:23 - 00:09:38:23
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
there's still a possibility of that happening, you know just as well as AI that some of us can spend mindless amounts of time, energy, hours and effort on social media if we're not intentional. So how do we get back to the roots of what we want? Not throwing the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak, getting rid of phones and screens and social altogether, but using it in a way that's hygienic in a 2025, always on digitally focused world, I have three tips on how you can build relationships in a digital world.

00:09:38:23 - 00:09:45:14
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
And the first is so simple, right? It's just put the phone down, right.

00:09:45:14 - 00:10:01:01
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
And that might seem so obvious and that might seem so basic to you, but the reason why this is important is because you need to understand that the our phones and social and some of these apps are intentionally designed to release a chemical called dopamine.

00:10:01:01 - 00:10:10:10
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
I'm sure you've heard this before. When you get a notification or when you doom scroll, they're built to be intentionally addictive.

00:10:10:10 - 00:10:25:14
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
And so while their art is good and while there can be value behind it, and as youth pastors and parents, we know we can use it even as a tool in our own lives, in our own ministries, in our own families, we also know that they're built to be intentionally addictive.

00:10:25:14 - 00:10:41:22
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
So create a space where you can learn how to put the phone down. In fact, if you go back to the very first episode linked, in the playlist linked right here, the top of the screen, about detoxing in a always on tech filled world, I give some tips. There's even a worksheet

00:10:41:22 - 00:10:47:09
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
in that video about getting rid and creating kind of phone free environments.

00:10:47:09 - 00:10:51:08
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
I believe if you, look at the worksheet in that one, I have linked like a phone

00:10:51:08 - 00:10:51:18
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
jail.

00:10:52:04 - 00:11:04:23
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
What if you did something so dramatic in your own life or your own family, where you created, like a phone jail or a phone locker kind of speak so that you could put it down and you can force yourself to not go back and pick it up.

00:11:05:01 - 00:11:24:09
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
In fact, I made a New Year's resolution this year that when I got home from work, I want from the time I get home from work until bedtime with my kids, I want it to be phone free. Like I want to put my phone down. I want to live my life and I hope, listen. I host a podcast called The Hybrid Ministry Show.

00:11:24:10 - 00:11:39:23
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
Like, I'm all about digital. I'm all about technology. But I also don't want technology to run me. I want it to be a part of my life that's useful and meaningful and that I use. But I don't want it to run me. And so I want to put my phone on, and I want to live my life

00:11:39:23 - 00:11:40:20
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
with my family.

00:11:40:20 - 00:11:55:15
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
The second idea I have for you is that why you should put your phone down? I'm speaking to those of you who are kind of hard chargers, like, yeah, like get rid of it. The second piece is tech can enhance relationships. So while you

00:11:55:15 - 00:12:03:06
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
should put your phone down so that you can live your life so that you can enhance those relationships, which is what social was built on foundationally in the first place.

00:12:03:08 - 00:12:22:09
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
Tech is a tool to be used like I just minutes ago. I am late at night, got done watching a basketball game. Shout out to the Oklahoma City Thunder 13 game win streak, longest in franchise history. I was texting my friend in Minnesota hours away, and we're texting about sports and basketball and life.

00:12:22:09 - 00:12:27:17
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
Like, I haven't seen him in person in months, but our relationship still exists.

00:12:27:17 - 00:12:51:02
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
We send memes to each other in real, and we text each other and we'll call each other and we'll chat through life. And, you know, monumental moments like tech can still enhance and keep a relationship going, right? I think about group chats. I even think about silly things like sharing memes and reels. I think that's a way in today's day and age, in 2025 and beyond, that can be a love language, so to speak.

00:12:51:02 - 00:13:16:11
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
You know, like I have a resident now who, was off social media because he was trying to, like, focus more time on his schoolwork. And I, would screenshot or screen record reels or memes of things. He's a big office guy, and we would kind of connect on those, and I'd send this to him in text and he'd be like, thank you for knowing and noticing that I'm not social and for sending this to me so that I can actually, like, see these things.

00:13:16:11 - 00:13:37:19
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
Right. Like it's still a way to connect as a matter of the medium. Like it just is a way for us to kind of like share some things, ideas and laugh together. And so that's where this saw this whole idea of hybrid comes in responsible usage. Put it down, but understand that it can still be a tool. The third idea I have for you is create rules for yourselves.

00:13:37:19 - 00:13:43:11
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
Or perhaps if you're a parent, a teenager, if you're a youth pastor, this is where I want to encourage you to maybe

00:13:43:11 - 00:13:54:23
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
download and share this resource with some of your parents. But what are some of the rules that you can help your teenagers? And, you know, their parents like, create for themselves and create for their families?

00:13:54:23 - 00:13:58:10
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
Like I said, I want to try to challenge myself to go phone free from when I get

00:13:58:10 - 00:14:31:17
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
home from work until my kids go to bed. I don't know what those rules are, but let let break some of those in. You know what? Link down below in episode 131 hybrid Administrator Xyzzy slash 131, I interviewed my friend Ronald, who is, host of the Middle School Ministry podcast, but he also is dad to middle schoolers and he had some fantastic ideas and some fantastic tips about how you can implement this idea of digital to your children, to your kids in a meaningful way, but also in a way that is going to like, help,

00:14:31:20 - 00:14:49:02
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
help them kind of earn the responsibility of having tech and phones and digital. And so I can't give you like a one size fits all rule. I can, but I don't think that that's wise. I think you need to learn and lean in and kind of learn and discern what needs to go on in your family and with you in particular.

00:14:49:02 - 00:15:18:14
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
And so while you may be, I don't want a smartphone at all, I want a dumb phone. Only that can be your rule. But don't make that the rule for everybody. Others. It might be like, I just want to limit my usage. I want to put, you know, timers on my apps. I want whatever that's where. And, you know, episode 132 I laid out the digital detox kind of like ideas, and it comes with some just ideas of rules and maybe some things that you can like, create for yourself, or that you and your teenager can kind of work together and create for yourself.

00:15:18:18 - 00:15:24:11
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
But if the whole goal. Right, like if we set the whole goal of social and its original form

00:15:24:11 - 00:15:57:09
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
was connection to humans, maybe, just maybe, the the the phone usage, screen usage has gone a little bit out of balance, has become a little bit more than we ever sort of bargained for. And so that's why I created this screen free guide, a way to, encourage ways to have screen free or phone free, times with friends and helping kind of facilitate that for your middle school or your high school or and even encouraging and how to kind of go about that and even get that kind of conversation started.

00:15:57:11 - 00:16:19:12
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
And also maybe not just for friends, but also for you as a family. Right. And and maybe while we might be frustrated as parents or as guardians or even as youth pastors with our teenage teenagers usage and maybe even dependance on technology, maybe we have to take a good hard look at ourselves, and maybe they're modeling their usage after us.

00:16:19:12 - 00:16:42:21
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
Or at least they're seeing us. Maybe not being as mindful about it as maybe we hope to be. So that's going to be linked down below. Again, if you're a parent, youth pastor or whatever, I hope that you grab it, use it, send it, share it with a friend. But I also want to encourage you to to help create more opportunities to build real relationships in this digital age and in this cell phone era.

00:16:43:00 - 00:16:55:07
Nick Clason | Hybrid Ministry
Thank you, as always, for being here. Don't forget to stick around. Subscribe. We'll have all kinds of other episodes like this throughout the rest of this year, but don't forget to stay hybrid.